Lost in maze

学会了穿RV，红底鞋，manolo，

拥有了chanel，dior和celine的包包，

品红酒，收藏whiskey，抽cigar，

一个人把公寓收拾得干净而精致，

看书，运动，从一开始的勉强坚持变成了习惯，

比从前更为饥渴地吸取新知识，

更热爱工作，

一个人吃饭，旅行完全不感到尴尬，

面对一度仰慕的banker和lawyer不再觉得有硕大的光环，

无比浓烈地喜欢上谁的时候知道hold back，

对不属于自己的男人能微笑放手而不太心痛，

对不为什么就出现和消失在生活里的人也能坦然淡漠

我不知道时间的手将在我们的背上留下怎样的印记，

在收获所谓成熟睿智的同时，是否又被剥夺了最初快乐的权利？

每个月挣1万2千块的时候从未觉得钱不够花，

现在工资翻了几倍却常常觉得穷得不见天日，
而在这个社会没钱近乎等于没有将来

曾经为喜欢的男孩子可以放弃自己的一切，

无论如何也要对一个人好的心情坚决得胜过情歌，悲壮如“可以为你挡死”，

现在写一张明信片，怯生生寄到而没有回音，

便觉得矜持丢尽，不该再惊扰
而似乎再也没有什么比好好生活来得更重要

以前认定一个人常常被嘲笑说只见树木，

现在面对广袤的森林却感到迷失，无处可栖

所以有时候我也说不好，怎样才算是真的优秀

或者追赶的其实只是一种错觉，

人们太执著遵循这游戏中的规则，

忘了其实还有一种可能性，
就是本可以选择不参与游戏的

Toast to dear 25

Today we're here to celebrate my 25th birthday.

All of you right here right now probably have known me well already. I'm so used to playing the role of a confident and tough lady, but most of the time really, I am only a confused, sensitive and fragile girl. I do stupid things and I cry like a baby when things are at mess. I complain. I get hurt and run.


However, the biggest lesson I've learnt over the years is that eventually I will have to be responsible for what I do. I finally got to understand that every bit of effort I make to improve the quality of work, to nurture a relationship and to commit to social decency will not be in vain. No matter how desperate the days are, I know that they've not come to stay - they've come to become the past.


Thanks to all of you my dear friends, I still have dreams. I still believe in love, and in thousands of beautiful trivia that I almost got used to ignore. I have things to accomplish. I will never hurt myself and will never die for nothing again.


Life is such an amazing marathon. And sometimes it's okay to fall behind for a while. I know I'll catch up soon.

And that faith, I hope, will lead me to becoming a better person in every tomorrow.


Cheers - To twenty five years of sweet sunshine.